What is pet bereavement?
Bereavement is a process that we go through, and it triggers emotions called grief. Coping through this process and understanding grief can sometimes be challenging, as we may not know what to expect.
Pet bereavement refers to the process of coping with the loss of a pet. This could be a dog, a cat, a horse, a rabbit or an exotic pet.
How pet grief is different to human grief
There is little research comparing human to pet grief, but from what people describe who have lost a pet, it’s clear that grief can be similar.
Grief is an emotion closely tied to loss.
Grief is different for different people, but there are common feelings that many people experience to some degree or another.
Although there are many similarities between human and pet grief, people going through pet bereavement struggle with things that are different from human loss. For example, you may have had to make that awful decision to have your pet put to sleep (euthanised). Also, people don’t acknowledge your grief in the same way. Some people believe that getting another dog from the local dog home will make you feel better, but this isn’t always the case.
There is no funeral for a pet loss, especially if it was an exotic pet. However, there are pet crematoriums.
There are no rituals for mourning, like wearing black or having a wake.
Just like grief after the loss of a human, you need time. You need to work through your emotions. Guilt can often be the hardest.
Common stages and myths about grieving after the loss of a pet
These days, numerous theories related to grief exist. The most well-known ideas about grief suggest that grief comes in stages. This comes from Elizabeth Kubler Ross.
They are:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
However, contemporary theories of grief suggest that grief doesn’t follow stages, and it can feel like you bounce back and forth with grief, and you have continuing bonds with the loss.
When grief feels overwhelming
Are you feeling sad every day? Yearning for your pet? Having difficulty sleeping, eating or overeating?
Maybe you have stopped going out.
You probably are worrying more.
When you are struggling with your emotions and they’re affecting your everyday life, it’s time to take action and seek support.
This might involve talking with a trusted friend or relative, consulting your religious faith, or discussing health-related problems with your doctor.
You could also seek help from pet support groups, online groups or charities that offer helplines.
Many complementary and alternative therapies can help.
Ways to cope, rituals, memorising and therapy options
There are many ways you can help yourself.
For example:
- Developing a good routine.
- Eating a balanced diet.
- Engaging in gentle exercise within your limits.
- Socialising more.
- Finding a new hobby or simply doing the ones you enjoy.
- Keeping a memory box with photos or items that bring comfort when you think of your lost animal.
How hypnotherapy or counselling can help
When you are grieving, you feel different emotions, sometimes for prolonged periods and sometimes briefly.
Pet bereavement counselling can help by giving you a safe, protected space to talk and express those feelings without being judged or hurried.
There are different types of counselling and other ways counsellors work, so it is essential that you feel comfortable with the counsellor you choose. You could ask for a free chat before engaging any services.
Hypnotherapists use counselling skills with hypnosis to help you change the things that you want to change. Hypnotherapy also enables you to get back on track, sleep better, build confidence, accept the loss and enjoy life again.
Other support resources
There are several ways I can offer you support.
- Get support from me and others who have experienced pet loss through my Facebook group, Healing After Pet Loss – Awaken the Change Community. Here is the link.
- Book a chat with me online to discover how I can assist you with either hypnotherapy or counselling.
- Buy my book, Managing Pet Grief. Available through Amazon.
About Linda
Hi, I’m Linda. I currently have a dog and have always had pets from a small child through my adult life. I know what it’s like to lose a pet. I’ve felt grief, but it won’t necessarily be the same as you are feeling right now.
As a therapist, I have helped many people with pet grief, and I would like to help you. Don’t suffer longer than you need to. Contact me for a complimentary consultation and find out more by visiting my website www.awakenthechange.com
