By Linda Witchell, therapist, author, and pet lover
The loss of a pet can hit us harder than we expect. Those emotions after pet loss are called grief.
I know the pain as I am an animal lover who has lost several pets over the years, and I have helped others who are grieving the loss of a pet.
There have been so many times that I have heard people make comments that show that they don’t understand that pet loss is real, and the pain that some people feel with grief can be as bad or worse than the feelings of losing a loved one. It’s not “just a dog” or “just a cat.” It’s your loyal companion, the creature who greeted you every morning and made the world feel a little softer.
Today, I would like to give you a brief introduction to my book, Managing Pet Grief, because I want to help if you are suffering or know someone else who has lost a pet.
In Chapter One of my book, Managing Pet Grief, I share the story of Rosie, a tiny Yorkshire terrier with a big personality, and how her loss affected me and my family. We still talk about her 15 years after her passing. That’s the kind of bond pets create: deep, lasting, and full of meaning.
The Deep Bond Between Humans and Animals
Pets aren’t just animals in our homes. They’re companions, carers, entertainers, and silent supporters. Research shows that this connection goes back thousands of years; dogs have been living alongside humans for over 14,000 years. Over time, we’ve evolved together, emotionally and biologically.
That’s why when a pet dies, or is lost, rehomed, or stolen, the grief is real. It’s also why you might be struggling with emotions like guilt, shock, or even denial.
You may find it hard to talk to others about your grief. That’s not unusual. Pet bereavement often goes unrecognised in our society, making it harder for you to get the support you need.
It’s Not Just Death That Causes Grief
In my practice, I’ve supported people grieving pets who have died, run away, or had to be rehomed due to circumstances like divorce, financial difficulty, or moving into care. These are all valid losses, yet others often overlook them. I have even had someone who was overcome with grief after their guide dog had to retire.
You might find yourself asking, “Why am I taking this so hard?” But that’s the wrong question. A better one is, “How can I take steps to start healing?”
Acknowledging the Pain Is the First Step
In Managing Pet Grief, I explain how recognising your pain is the beginning of healing. There’s no shame in crying over your pet or missing their familiar presence. The silence in the house, the empty bed, or even finding their lead or food bowl can trigger a wave of emotion.
All of this is normal.
And if you feel that your grief is lingering, or even intensifying, perhaps months later, it may be a sign that you need a bit of extra help. That’s okay, too, but it is probably time to get some help.
Understanding Why It Hurts Can Help You Cope
Grief is layered. Your relationship with your pet, including how long you had them, how they passed away (or were lost), and the reactions of others, all influence how you feel.
Chapter One of the book gently walks you through:
- How pet ownership is more than emotional. It’s social, psychological, even spiritual.
- Why do some people bounce back quickly and others struggle longer?
- What makes pet loss different to human loss, and why both are equally valid.
- How cultural, social, and practical factors (like lack of ceremonies) affect grief.
And I ask you to reflect on your unique story. What did your pet mean to you? What routines are missing now? What emotions are surfacing, and what support do you need?
What You Can Do Today
If you’re grieving, or helping someone who is, here are a few gentle ideas to help:
- Write down your favourite memories of your pet. Journaling has been shown to help many people who are overwhelmed and need to express their negative thoughts and feelings.
- Talk to someone who understands. A friend, a therapist, or another pet lover can help you know your thoughts and feelings through listening to your story.
- Create a small ritual or memorial.
- Allow yourself to feel and cry if you need to.
- Don’t rush to “move on.” Instead, find ways to “move forward.”
You are Not Alone
Whether you have lost a dog, a cat, a rabbit, or any beloved creature, your grief matters.
That’s why I wrote Managing Pet Grief — to offer genuine understanding and practical support, drawing on both personal experience and professional expertise.
📘 You can find the book on Amazon or visit my website if you’d like to talk.
Let’s make sure no one has to grieve alone.
