Did you know that more women go to therapy than men? Is that because men are more resilient than women and have fewer problems than women, or some other reason?
As a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach in business for over 17 years, I welcome men and women or any other gender that people wish to identify as in my practice. Still, like many different therapists, fewer men are taking up our services, yet they need help.
Why focus on men’s mental health?
Men can experience unique challenges at work.
Men experience more mental health problems in some areas than women.
Men matter because
Mental health problems affect both men and women, but not in equal measure. (Mental Health Foundation)
Furthermore, the Mental Health Foundation highlights the research of some shocking statistics about men’s mental health problems.
Did you know that
- Since the mid-1990s, 75% of suicides in the UK have been carried out by men.
- Men are less likely to access psychological therapies.
- 87% of rough sleepers are men.
- Men are more likely to be victims of violent crime than women.
- There are more male prisoners than females, and they have higher levels of mental health problems.
I like to help everyone deal with a problem before it gets to a crisis point, as they will often find that they can solve it quickly.
Why does men’s position in society impact on their mental health?
There are cultural and social norms about the role of men.
In many places, there are stereotypes of men. They are expected to be the breadwinners, strong, and figureheads for the family and work.
At work, more men are in senior positions of responsibility. They may work long hours and skip lunch and tea breaks.
Many men work when they are ill.
Some men don’t take time off for bereavement.
Others may not have a break with a new baby in the home, keeping them up all night.
In addition, men also have stigmas. For example, some people consider it a sign of weakness if they don’t ‘man up’ to difficult situations.
Sports and gyms have helped men, but there is a long way to go.
Addressing the needs of therapy for men
As a therapist, I can’t change the way society stereotypes men with ill health. However, I can help men understand why they need therapists and support, and therapists can make their services more accessible for men.
Minor emotional problems can be helped with therapy before they grow into catastrophic situations.
Therapists can help people address emotional and physical issues.
Counsellors help men to see a different perspective on the issue. Counsellors don’t give advice or tell you what to do. Instead, they have techniques to help you understand your thoughts and feelings and accept things or take action.
Coaching is more about goal setting and moving forward in small steps. Men are likelier to opt for coaching as they don’t connect it with therapy.
Hypnotherapy requires less talking and more relaxation and helps the person to reframe negative and unhelpful patterns.
Many other alternative and complementary therapies help with physical problems, including massage, acupuncture and reflexology.
5 reasons why men don’t go to therapy
- Some men deny having a problem even though their bodies may be telling them that they have, and close friends and family are concerned. For example, they may feel exhausted, worry, have aches and pains, get headaches or can’t sleep.
- Men aren’t always good at communication and struggle to discuss emotional issues. Instead, they are good at practical work and logical assessment. However, the key to many work, relationship and personal problems is communicating about emotions, which some men find difficult.
- Society pushes men to deal with things alone. Furthermore, some men think that it is weak to ask for help.
- Men use food, alcohol or drugs to try to cope by hiding away from the problem.
- They have a friend or partner they talk to, but as that person isn’t a trained counsellor or therapist, they may not find the solution, and they are burdening a person who is prepared to listen.
Ways men can help themselves to accept or solve a problem
There are lots of self-help techniques.
- Exercise
- Eat a healthy diet with regular meals
- Get a better work-life balance
- Take tea and meal breaks and holidays
- Get a hobby or pastime which involves mixing with other people.
Where to get help
Any suicidal thoughts must be dealt with urgently, as some men suffering from anxiety and depression can get into a spiral of negativism and hopelessness.
Contact
Samaritans anytime. Telephone 116 123 (UK).
Psychology Today provides a list of suicide helplines around the world. Click on the link here.
Any health problems mean getting a health check but talking to a supportive friend or counsellor may help if that is difficult.
Counsellors can help men to talk and understand their emotions.
Private and specialist counsellors, psychotherapists and psychologists can be contacted via directories and professional membership sites. Alternately, do an internet search.
Contact
The Counselling Directory. Click the link here.
The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society.
Comp[ementary therapists can be contacted privately or through directories’ membership sites.
Contact
The National Hypnotherapy Society
Complementary and Natural Healthcare Council
Therapy online
Getting help is easier than ever for men, as many therapists do online work
I am a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach.
I can provide help via Zoom.
