Do you need to come to terms with a loss?
Have you suffered a loss or a death recently or in the past?
Are you feeling that the negativity of it is taking over your life?
Are you behaving differently?
Maybe you are not eating correctly or have difficulty sleeping and struggling to do what you usually enjoy.
Loss is a small word but can have a significant impact on people. It’s more than thoughts and feelings; often, a loss can result in massive changes to a person’s life.
Loss causes grief.
Grief is about emotions. It could be yearning, emptiness, anger, shock or even relief.
If you are grieving, believe things can change. Feel better and get on with your life. Find acceptance and calmness.
If you understand loss, it will be easier to learn how to cope.
What type of loss are you suffering?
Are you suffering from a:
Loss of a loved one?
Loss of a sentimental item?
Loss of your job?
Loss of your pet?
Loss of a limb?
Or another loss?
Whether your loss is big or small, recent or a long time ago, you can learn to cope because the first step is to help yourself. And this starts with understanding and identifying how you are feeling.
When thinking about loss, most people think about losing a loved one or maybe a pet, but other losses trigger similar feelings, thoughts and behaviours.
At its most superficial level, remember what it feels like when you lose your purse with all your credit cards and money in it. Alternately if you had never lost a purse or wallet, think about a time when you lost something else at home.
Loss can set off disbelief, panic, depression and even anger. A whole range of other things is activated when you realise that you can’t find that item and lose control. Now think for a second if you were to multiply those thoughts and feelings many times, you would at least have an idea of how other losses can affect people.
No one could imagine what the loss of an eye or a leg or another part of the body might be, but if you think of the things you thought or felt when you lost your purse (or another item), you will have a glimpse of the world of loss.
Loss is different for different people. No one will know precisely what it’s like for you if you have suffered a small or significant loss.
Some theories and studies help us understand loss, but you are unique to have different needs. For example, one idea is to bounce back and forth between feeling ok and feeling terrible. Other theories suggest that we can also think that the loss is overwhelming, but we need to carry out tasks and learn to develop life around the loss over time.
You also have different experiences and different levels of resistance.
The more you feel attached to or value the person, pet, or thing you lost, the more you will feel the loss. It’s a particular time, so no one technique of helping fits all people and all situations.
Furthermore, the situation or the way you experienced that loss can make it worse.
I’m Linda from Awaken the Change. I provide a different service to support you and help you move on to more positive thoughts and feelings in life or accept your loss.
I have over 30 years of nursing background, so I have met many people who have lost an eye or body part.
As a bereavement counsellor for more than 14 years, I have also helped many people with the loss of a loved one.
Because I am a personal coach, I can also use different skills to help with planning the future. I also have a tool kit of other ways to help you get those positive thoughts and feelings—for example, Mindfulness and hypnosis.
And as a dog lover, I know the attachment people get with pets and the heartbreak of losing your pet. This is a reason why I also specialise in pet bereavement. (See the Ralph site for information on pet bereavement)
Recovery from loss involves grieving. Therefore, the process that we go through is called bereavement.
Grief is a normal human process, but some people need time and a deeper understanding to overcome their loss. Some people need a confidential place to talk and let go of their thoughts and feeling, and other people need more practical help through goal setting, relaxation and signposting to other agencies.
So if you feel stuck and are struggling to move to acceptance, you should seek help.
There is no timetable for grief, but if you have felt that things are getting worse or if you have been grieving for months or years, you should speak to a specialist counsellor or healthcare practitioner. If the grief is impacting your health, you should talk to your doctor.
But you can start feeling better yourself; here are five ways that can help you cope.
Five ways to cope
- Exercise within your limits. Going for a walk every day will help.
- Do some artwork. This art could be as simple as drawing or colouring to make something like a model or a cake.
- Write a journal. Write your thoughts down and notice patterns and dump your grief on paper.
- Join a group. This group could be a singing class, a walking group or even an online discussion group.
- Practice Mindfulness, Hypnosis or Meditation.
If you need someone to talk to or other ways to get out of your suffering, please get in touch with me at Awaken the Change – Feel better and let’s work together so you can learn to move on and accept your loss.
The things you can expect from Linda at Awaken the Change:
- A professional who listens to you so you can tell your story
- The space to express your thoughts and feelings in a safe place
- Tools and techniques to help you relax and change negative thoughts and behaviours.
- Support to help you make sense of your loss and help to learn to move to acceptance
- Health and wellbeing information
- Learn ways to relax
- Stress management expertise
- Signposting to other professionals if needed.
If you want to understand and deal with your loss, please contact me for a complimentary consultation. The consultation can either be over the telephone, via Zoom or face to face in my office in Bournemouth, Dorset.